That Ain’t Normal

Dinosaur on the loose

2008/07/22 – 10:21 pm
Extinct, my ASS! from The Original Joe Fisher on Vimeo. This is a video of a dinosaur on the loose in the LA Museum of Natural History. No computer effects used here, folks: it's all real. Well, I mean, it's not a real dinosaur of course or those kids would be totally devoured, but you know what I mean. If you look closely at the dinosaur you can see what's going on here. One thing's for certain: I want one, and I want one bad.

Posted in Alex, Written by Gus | No Comments »

Fart!

2007/06/04 – 3:42 pm
. THE ANTICIPATED FART: This one warns that it is back they're waiting for some time before it arrives. A person who is uneasy for a time in a crowd and who later farts at a time when they think no one will notice has farted an Anticipated Fart. THE BACK SEAT FART: This is a fart that occurs only in automobiles. It is identified chiefly by odor. The Back Seat Fart can usually be concealed by traffic noise as it is an eased-out fart and not very loud. But its odor is foul, will give it away, due to the way air moves around in a car. And then someone will say who farted in the back seat? THE BARRED OWL FART: A familiarity with owl calls is helpful in identifying this fart. Almost any morning if you get up just before daybreak you can hear one of these birds talking to ...

Posted in poop | No Comments »

Bad pickup lines

2007/04/05 – 6:00 am
Licks finger and wipes on victims shirt.Now let's get you out of these wet clothes. Are you a Neurologist? Cause your body is messing with my mind! Are you bitches fuckin', or are you fuckin' bitches? Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see! Be unique and different, say yes. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money. Can you smell my genitals from where you're sitting? Did you wash those pants in Windex? I can see myself in them! Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes. Do you have any Irish in you? Want some? Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I? Does the carpet match the curtains? Excuse me for interrupting and I am not trying to make a pass, but you must be leaving the country ...

Posted in How To | No Comments »

The placenta is huge!

2007/03/14 – 10:30 pm
We had the first of seven birthing classes today. We got to watch the DVD of two different live births and the birth of the placentas too! The placenta is huge! I had no idea. We are not too sure that we are going to make it though the classes, however. The instructor is really annoying, and I am not sure about our tolerance of her. She also works as a “Doula”, and used the class as an opportunity to promote her services. Doulas are women experienced in childbirth who provide non-medical emotional and physical support to women before, during and after childbirth. During labor this might mean coaching the mother with her breathing, helping with pain relief and giving reassurance. They also aspire to help the mother birth her baby naturally. To me, having a Doula seems like it would create additional stress, and would be really weird, having ...

Posted in Baby, Dawn | No Comments »

Did you fart?

2007/03/07 – 6:00 am
Funny thing, we can be all alone in a room, and my wife will ask me “Did you fart?” If she is not sure if it was she or I, I’m not going to fess up to it. So naturally, I deny it, because she is obviously not sure, (why else would she ask me if it was me?) plus, it usually makes her upset with me when I fart. Then, she will say,” You did too, it totally reeks in here.” She knew it was me that farted all along. Why ask a question if you already know the answer? When I am in a room with another man, and one of us farts, the other person says, “Dude that totally reeks:” or “What crawled up inside of you and died?” followed by some laughter, and sometimes even fanning. It is not just her though, most of the ...

Posted in Alex, Beer Drinking, Dawn | No Comments »